Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in 27bunnies' LiveJournal:

Friday, March 31st, 2006
9:47 am	Philip and the Mop We got a puppy! He is a sheltie named Philip. He likes to chase mops. lousy quality quicktime video (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 20th, 2005
3:18 pm	Why does it seem it always causes trouble when you try to be nice or generous by giving away some random thing you don't want? I ought to quit doing that. People suspect my motives or it just turns into a hassle. Just now I tried to give away my free domain name to a friend of a friend, except he misunderstood and went and paid for his own domain name, thinking the company would refund him. In fact they won't refund him; he was supposed to wait until the credit appeared in his account before purchasing anything. So I feel like I've gone and gypped this stranger out of money when in fact all I was doing was trying to be nice. Another instance of that: I didn't want to deal with my broken computers so I gave them to a coworker, and he seemed kind of suspicious, asking "doesn't your husband want them?" It certainly did not promote friendly feelings of any kind at work. That was a dumb move altogether because I *could* have scavenged them for parts and after all I had already moved them into the new house. The only other instance I can recall at this moment was when I did well on a national French test in high school and won a paper model of some buildings in France that I could put together. When I was done putting it together I didn't want it, it was just a stupid item to clutter up my space, so asked the French teacher if she might want it and gave it to her. I think I was seen as a brown-noser for that. I'm just socially maladjusted, I don't understand the rules behind this kind of thing. I guess the only thing to do is just throw out stuff if I don't want it. I just don't see why it is better to throw stuff out if *somebody* might want it... (Comment on this)
Friday, October 14th, 2005
10:40 am	Joe from Montana Joe from Montana was the guy I ran into quite by coincidence in California, then in Montana, then in New York, all within the course of the 9 months after I finished high school. I got a crush on him the first time, I was astonished the second time, and I figured it had to be fate the third time. In all that time I did manage to have a few conversations with him, which was a really big deal to me at the time, but by now I know that conversations mean nothing. By now I know that fate doesn't exist. He's no more important than any other guy I ever had an unrequited crush on. I've told the story in more detail before but it doesn't deserve to be told again because it's not important. I always thought it was such an amusing story but it always did make my boyfriends jealous and now it makes my husband jealous that the other day he mentioned someone from Missoula and I said in jest, "oh does she know Joe from Montana"? So I think I must not tell this story again because telling it gives it meaning. Here is my official statement that I do not believe in fate and nothing would ever make me leave my husband! I love him and he's incredibly special and some weird thing that happened to me when I was 17 has no bearing on today. (Comment on this)
Monday, August 15th, 2005
10:19 am	(Comment on this)
Thursday, June 23rd, 2005
10:31 am	So we've been borrowing "Little House on the Prairie" DVDs from the library and they're really quite entertaining. We recently watched one with a baseball game and it was easily the most entertaining baseball game I've ever seen. I have decided that sports might be tolerable to watch if: A. They had a soundtrack, for instance, a rising kazoo whistle for a pop fly ball followed by a "da-dum" tuba noise if someone drops it... This could be done in a non-partisan way or it could be done with spooky music when the "bad" team is gaining and fanfares when the good team is doing well... and B. At least some of the players were incompetent enough to provide clumsy action that can be matched with entertaining sound effects. I think they could find a live orchestra that could do stuff like this. Furthermore, Little House is an endless source of entertaining quotes that can be used as inside jokes. For instance: 1. "You're not even a maniac! You're just a mean, selfish old man." and 2. "I thought I'd walked through the pearly gates and seen an angel!" I've never been "in" on inside jokes before... It's kinda fun... (Comment on this)
Monday, December 13th, 2004
8:08 am	The problem with being so much in love is nobody else besides my bf wants to say a word to me. I mean, more so than usual. I'm too sickening, perhaps. :P (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 2nd, 2004
10:10 am	i don't see it happening, but if he ever wanted to stop being my boyfriend and sincerely wanted to "just be friends" i think i would cheerfully give him my unrequited love forever... (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 31st, 2004
6:14 pm	I'm so in love I can barely function... His eyes still mesmerize me... in other news, I get to skip work on Tuesday to be a "poll watcher" for the Democrats which means I get to get up at about 5:30 in the morning to go get a "Blackberry" from headquarters, meaning a little hand-held internet device... it has a list of all the targeted democratic voters in the precinct I'll be working in and I'm supposed to keep track of all the people who come to vote and if any of them are on my list, I check them off and send the info back to headquarters.. then after a certain time they will start phoning those they know are solid democrats who have not gone to vote yet, and reminding them to go vote. Kinda cool I guess. It's not illegal or anything if that's what you're thinking. :) Apparently we've got better technology for this than the Republicans this year, they've just got pencil and paper. Not that it will help anything, not in this state... Current Music: magnetic fields (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 2nd, 2004
9:50 am	So, I guess they put Abby dog to sleep on Wednesday :(. She was perfectly joyful right up until the end, though she was walking on three legs for the last day. It's going to be sad going over to my parents' house and not having her greet me at the door. Snakes and parakeets just don't spread joy quite like a dog. (oh yeah, they got a 4.5-foot long pet snake recently...) All I can say is, if "they" were to implement a program where *humans* were euthanized any time they got down to less than 90% happiness, it would instantly solve the world's overpopulation problems. Plus me and my bf and dad and many other people certainly wouldn't be here... in fact, I hate to say it, but I tend to think the world have a much higher proportion of stupid people... I have a hard time seeing how a smart person can be 100% happy, but maybe I'm just not smart enough to understand it... speaking of overpopulation, has anyone read any of Daniel Quinn's books, for instance, Ishmael?? I love that book, though I'm generally somewhat wary of admitting it... What can I say, I'm a depressive, paranoid type person who likes gorillas....... check out http://www.ishmael.com . I bought Ishmael and My Ishmael recently and reread them (I first checked them out from a library years ago). I was thinking of giving them to D for an Xmas present but instead lent Ishmael to him right after I reread ir, I was too eager to see what he would think of it, and he loves it too... Well, it seems that at work they like to have secret meetings behind my back and discuss what I've done wrong in my programming, and then *NOT TELL ME ABOUT IT*. C'mon, how am I supposed to fix the programs if they don't tell me there is a problem? This happened twice in the past week, for instance. I had one of my 9 bosses come up to me and ask me whether I had fixed that program yet. I said, "I didn't know there was something wrong with it" and he said "yeah, I was discussing it with B two days ago and the program doesn't work!" What the hell, why don't they discuss it with ME since it's MY PROGRAM??? they're always on my case about my not communicating enough and they ignore the idea that it could be a two-way street. What am I supposed to do, walk around the office and ask each of my nine bosses every day whether they've found any problems in my work? Wouldn't it make more sense for them to come to me and TELL ME??? Well, you know, since they say it is all my fault I would generally believe that it must be true, but I am having one of my rare bouts of self-confidence at the moment and thinking maybe they're not perfect either :P. I can't even count the number of times that they've changed something in the manual for the program and not told me about it and then basically expected the program to change itself. The "manual" consists of about 25 huge binders full of paper and weighs about as much as I do, so it's clearly not feasible for me to read it every day and see what changes there have been that affect me, besides the fact that I don't even have a manual and in fact *nobody* in the office likely has an up-to-date copy at any given moment..... :PPPPP Actually this is me in a good mood, although it's probably pretty hard to tell. in a bad mood I certainly wouldn't have enough energy to type all that :) and i thank my lucky stars i've got a bf who can love a paranoid freak like me :) Current Mood: paranoid Current Music: Spokane (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
12:30 pm	my parents' dog was a huge mass of excess energy up until a couple of weeks ago when she developed a limp. They took her to the vet and it turns out she has bone cancer and has a few weeks to live. i suppose i still don't know how to deal with death. my parents' policy was generally to ignore it. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 12th, 2004
9:20 pm	can it be possible that I truly know I have the right guy, a mere 3 months after we started dating? it feels amazing. i feel so understood. I can *STILL* stare into his eyes forever and we still can't stop hugging each other. we say the "f" word to each other quite a bit ("forever"). can I know anything about forever after three months? I do know what he's like. I know he would never hurt me. I know I'll always care for him. but could i be confusing lust with something else? (i've never known such a level of lust before. but just because there is lust doesn't exclude other things!) well i do believe my mom and dad only dated for a couple of months before they got engaged, and they're still together now... i think this stuff happens, I think it's possible. (I'm not saying I'm getting engaged or anything, though!) :) aw cmon, I deserve something good. who doesn't? I'm not Hitler. I deserve something good. something that makes me truly happy for a while. it had been so long. you can say i'm ungrateful for whatever else I had before, but I don't think so. i want to think i deserve for this feeling to be real... i so often want to cry with happiness. (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 8th, 2004
11:35 am	It's true I'm quite attached to him. Maybe dangerously so. I like it though. It feels better to love than to be loved. (I have both!) I have a boy writing love songs for me. Do I deserve all this affection?? Yes, yes I do... or so I am able to tell myself on rare occasions. I have photos. They are the greatest photos I've ever had. Many of them make me giggle with delight. You can see more of them at my web page, whose address I will not post publicly since I am trying to maintain the illusion that I am anonymous here. I look happier than him, which is perhaps a foreshadowing of doom. What the hell. I like being happy, so I may as well enjoy it!! I know that last statement probably sounds rather dumb to any non-depressive people who might read this... it makes sense to me, though... I very badly wanted a picture of myself with him. Of course I have this dependent personality, I am very rarely without a boyfriend, but I am very rarely actually *seen* with one. My communications take place behind closed doors, or on the phone. I had no "proof" that I ever had one. I was with J for 4 years but acquired only one moderately decent picture of myself with him, which he ripped up one of the times he was angry with me. I wanted a concrete record of this state of bliss that I am in so often these days and now I have it. I am spreading that picture of me and D all over, and I never intend to lose it... It would be better if I'd managed to comb my hair before he snapped our picture but honestly it is hard to bring my mind to think of anything other than touching him, when I am with him... (Comment on this)
Friday, August 6th, 2004
7:19 am	I'm resolved to be smart about things and never to end things with him unless I had a really good reason... a really good reason means that things change between us to such an extent that I start hating him... the following do *not* constitute really good reasons: 1. The magic is gone, 2. I need some excitement, or 3. There might be someone better out there. incidentally the magic is not gone, I can still stare into his eyes for an hour, it still makes me melt to see him smile.... I just hope his inexperience does not lead him to think there's something wrong if one day we can look in each others' eyes without sparks flying. (Comment on this)